Hermione the Vampire Slayer
by DevilShoes
Summary: Buffy Parody. Welcome to the Hogmouth: As Hermione begins Hogwarts, she soon finds herself making new friends... and saving their lives. SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

**Hermione the Vampire Slayer:**

**Welcome To The Hogmouth**

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own any part of Harry Potter or Buffy The Vampire Slayer and I have nothing to do with the production of either.

**NOTES: **As promised, here is the revised new Hermione the Vampire Slayer. Mistake free. Hopfuly. Hermione the Vampire Slayer 2 will follow soon, hopefully, and once Nine Lives is all planned out, work will begin on that too!

And yes, you do have to review again.

ENJOY!

CRASH!

In the deserted potions lab of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a window exploded into fragments of glass as a rebellious teenager thrust his elbow against it at force.

'I don't think this is such a good idea, Jack,' Draco protested weakly, 'What if we get caught?'

'We won't get caught babe, I promise.'

Apparently almost instantly reassured, Draco allowed Jack to lean in for a passionate kiss which would have had caused many metals react if this were an ordinary school lab, but of course it wasn't. This was Hogwarts.

'Come on, I wanna show you the view from the North Tower. It's _breath taking.'_ Jack said as he led the way out into the corridor, Draco following a little reluctantly behind, his hand in Jack's.

'_What was that?' _Draco whirled around, obviously seeing or hearing something either invisible or whatever the sound equivalent of invisible is to Jack.

'It was nothing babe, just a sound, I mean we _are_ in a four hundred year old castle, don't forget.'

'Ok...' Sounding anything but reassured, Draco, turned back around to Jack to reveal something that hadn't come up on his personal ad - Draco was a vampire.

Stunned, Jack was paralysed, but death came quickly enough as Draco sunk his teeth into Jack's neck, which was quite impressive seeing as Jack was almost a foot taller than him. Jack felt his knees buckle and his body become limp as Draco began to suck his blood. _The other love bites felt a lot nicer, _Jack thought. A thought, which proved to be his last.

A corpse fell to the fall.

Draco shook his peroxide mane in the moonlight and managed to fiendishly lock away Jack's corpse before exiting the building as swiftly as a shadow...

In a house situated in the quiet streets of London, in a bedroom littered with boxes of personal belongings, Hermione Granger slept a restless sleep. Her dreams were filled with the horrors of her past; vampires, demons, shoulder pads (what _was_ she thinking?) and of course her school; Durmstrang.

You see, Hermione was special. Born as both a witch and a vampire slayer, she found being 'twice blessed' was both a difficult life and cruel one. So many times she found herself on the outside of society; when she patrolled graveyards and forests whilst her friends attended disco's and parties; when she battled demons and vampires instead of shopping and lusting over boys; or when she was denied membership to 'Witches Who Aren't Vampire Slayers' club. Hermione spent her time saving the world and the lives of people who could never understand the world of vampires and demons enough to know what was happening to them, let alone help her in her destiny.

You see, witches and wizards have a horrible habit of thinking that because they are part of a secret world of magic that there are no more secrets in the world, that there are no more secrets above the heads of witches and wizards, that there are no other secret worlds or societies out there. That was what Hermione hated the most. She believed she was very open minded and felt certain that there were more hidden societies above her head, maybe one of gods or really tall people.

Whatever the world be full of, Hermione was certain it existed.

As her nightmare continued, Hermione tossed and turned, her beautifully long dark hair managing to stay out of her immaculate face which already featured eye shadow, eye liner and foundation she found she could not take off even when she slept, which she found slightly unnerving.

Suddenly, a voice cut through her subconscious world of horrors, waking her with a start,

'HERMIONE, DEAR! If you don't get up now, you'll be late for your first day!'

'Oh bugger,' she muttered.

After Hermione was expelled from her previous school for magically blowing up several of the classrooms which contained trapped vampires, her and her mother had decided to make a fresh start in their home country so Hermione could attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

So here Hermione was, a few hours later, riding alone the Hogwarts Express in February on her way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As far as she knew, Hermione was the first student to be accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry after the school year had started. She sat in silence allowing the excitement of starting her first day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to truly bubble over inside her. She protectively hugged her bag containing quills, parchment, stakes, holy water, several crosses and a lipstick; which surprisingly, had proved lethal on more than one occasion.

'Wow,' she breathed silently, 'I can't believe I'm _really _going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! This is so exciting! I wonder what it'll be like at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? I hope there is a local bar at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.' She mused to herself. (Hermione was currently trying to kick an alcohol problem (obviously badly) which had taken hold after she became depressed after her expulsion from Durmstrang.)

As the train trundled along to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Hermione was completely oblivious to the dark forces collecting around her. She was completely unaware of what her first day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would bring. She was completely unaware of the horrors that lay in the shadows. One blonde horror in particular who presently was crouched over a computer screen looking through page after page of personal ads.

'Hey guys! Wait up!' Josso bounded up the stairs of one of the many Hogwarts corridors to meet up with Ron and Harry. Ron, Harry and Josso had been friends since any of them could remember. 'You hear?' Josso panted.

'Bout the new girl? Yup. I'm thinking she's a Russian model, maybe Swedish; I'm willing to haggle.' Typical girl crazy teen, Ron was pretty tall and ginger, which automatically meant he was a social outcast. The fact that he had never had a proper girlfriend in his life, or been good at any sports didn't help either. But Ron was pretty content with who he was, although he never gave up the opportunity to bond with the 'in' crowd.

'Ergh,' Harry scoffed, twiddling her long brown hair, 'Didn't you guys ever think that maybe she's NORMAL?' Harry trotted along in front to show her disgust. Harry had always been a social outcast like Ron, mainly due to the fact that she was incredibly intelligent and helped by the fact, she still wore outfits chosen by her mother. Harry also had an unfortunate lightning shaped scar on her forehead from a freak fishing accident. As Ron and Josso caught her up, Josso pointed out:

'Harry, look around you.' Harry did so, like an obedient, timid dog. She saw people in the corridors, her classmates, practising spells and incantations and curses on each other and the unimportant items in the hallway. 'You wanna redefine your definition of normal?'

'Fine, point taken, but do you really think this new girl is gonna be something special? I mean we're pretty much all the same, all witches or wizards, we all know the secret which is pulled over the eyes of the muggles in the world. I mean; what are you expecting, a super hero?'

'No, just your average gorgeous blonde model with a passionate affection for yours truly.' Josso coolly replied.

'With, you know, the riches on the side and perhaps a Firebolt broomstick...' Ron added. Harry left them to fantasise about the new girl and walked into her Transfiguration lesson.

'GRYFFINDOR!' Shouted the ancient sorting hat from atop of Hermione's head.

'Look, Professor Dumbledore, I know my school record is a little... _colourful_, but I really am looking to change. That's why my mom sent me here.'

'Hermione, here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, we give everyone the support and attention they need to help them become a key member in our society. And those who we view as _unworthy_, you might say, of our help, well, you've been expelled before haven't you?' Professor Dumbledore looked down his nose at Hermione, through his glasses. Hermione looked back at the short, chubby, balding man and knew what his look meant. She'd seen it before and would see it again. It was a look that said, '_You blew up your school_.'

'I get you. I must be late for class or something, so I guess I better get a move on. Don't want to waste any support or help or attention. Thank you, Professor Dumbledore.'

Hermione was sat in an old classroom where a _ghost_ was teaching History of Magic. She was the most interested looking one there. A _ghost_. _Teaching_. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was sure full of surprises.

Hermione looked around at her fellow pupils and many were looking back, and Hermione could understand why. She was new. She was interesting. Every school Hermione had started at, she got the same look.

'...Now, if you'll turn to page two-hundred and forty nine of your textbooks, you'll see a diagram...' Professor Binns instructed.

Hermione looked around. _Textbooks? I don't have a text book_, she thought worriedly. _Oh God, I'm gonna make a fool of myself, I just _know _it._

As if reading her mind, a spoilt looking girl leaned across, offering her textbook, 'Here, share mine,' she insisted.

'Thanks.' Hermione replied gratefully.

'I'm Lavender, you're the new girl, right?'

'Yeah, although funnily enough that _isn't_ my real name.'

The girl laughed at the joke, although a little too late, leaving Hermione to believe she hadn't even understood it in the first place.

As the bell went, Hermione and Lavender exited the room together, 'So you're from Durmstrang?'

'Yeah.'

'What's it like there?'

'Well, you know, the usual,' Hermione replied trying to sound as casual as possible without sounding like this was the _last_ thing she wanted to talk about, which it was.

'Is it true what people say?' Lavender continued off Hermione's confused look, 'Is there really a huge Top Witch store in the town?'

'Oh, yeah, its true.' Hermione was starting to realise that a pencil sharpener could give this girl a run for her money at a game of 'Who has the higher IQ?'

'You're _so_ lucky, I'd just _kill_ to go there! _That _close to that many shoes!'

As they turned a corner of the corridor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, they came across, a quiet little girl drinking from the water fountain, who reminded Hermione of a timid little mouse who still wore outfits her mom picked out for her.

'Hey Harry! I just _love_ that outfit!' Lavender said with such falsity a cabbage could have told that she wasn't being sincere.

'Um... Well.. M-My mom picked it out.' Harry replied. Hermione then noticed the strange lightning shaped scar on her forehead.

'Are you done?' Lavender asked sharply and bluntly.

'Oh... I...' Harry managed to splutter before she left.

'Ha! Take my advise. If you want to fit in here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, steer well clear of Harry Potter.' Lavender warned with such

seriousness and venom, Hermione became quite afraid of her for a minute. 'Unless, of course, you need someone to do your homework for you.' She added with a smile.

After escaping the horrifyingly intense stupidity and shallowness of Lavender Brown, Hermione escaped and managed to find her way through the identical gothic old hallways of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After seeing she had Charms first thing tomorrow, Hermione decided to seek out Professor Flitwick to inquire as to whether there were any additional textbooks she would need for tomorrows lesson.

'Er... Excuse me? Professor Flitwick?' She called out timidly. 'Professor Flitwick are you here? Professor - ARGH!'

A figured walked out of the shadows and stood before Hermione. At first Hermione thought that an enchanted garden gnome had approached her but on further inspection it turned out to be an actual living person.

'Ah. You must be Hermione Granger. I've heard all about you. Nice to meet you.' The ridiculously small man reached out a hand above his head which Hermione nervously shook.

'Professor, I was just wondering if I'd need anything additional for -' She began before she was cut off.

'Don't worry, I know _exactly_ what your looking for.'

Professor Flitwick hurried back into the shadows from where he had appeared and returned once again which a heavy looking and very ancient book. The writing on the front read out 'VAMPYR', no, sorry, that's 'VAMPIRE'. Hermione's quick between-lessons shot of vodka was taking its affect.

'That's _not _what I'm looking for,' She slurred.

'Are you sure? Oh, I must have made a mistake.'

As Flitwick bent down and put the book away, Hermione hurriedly exited, banging into various tables and chairs before finally falling to the floor with a thud.

'Are you alright?' The big purple garden gnome hurried towards Hermione with concern before going into slow motion. _That was some vodka_, Hermione thought before jumping to her feet and leaving the classroom, only to find herself on her ass again after walking straight into Ron Weasley on the other side of the door.

Stupid cow.

'Oh God, I'm _so_ sorry.' Hermione muttered.

'Hey! You're the new chick!' Ron exclaimed with just a little too much excitement in his voice. 'Here, let me help you. I'm Ron.' Said Ron as he bent down to help bring to new chick to her feet.

'I'm Hermione Granger. Nice to meet you.' Said Hermione Granger as she was pulled to her feet, dropping her bag and spilling the contents in the process. 'God, I'm such a clutz.' Hermione said almost in despair.

'Yeah well, then you'll fit right in.' Ron said as he bent down to help the new chick gather her bearings and possessions.

'Thanks a lot, Ron.'

'No problem. So I guess maybe I'll see you around. Maybe at school. Seeing as we both go there. And live there. And are there now.' Luckily for Ron, Hermione was so pissed at this stage that that what he was saying made perfect sense to her.

'Well I got to get to class,' Hermione managed to say, getting to her feet. 'Rye Bon.'

Bon also rose and watched Hermione stumble down the corridor, bumping into students and pupils and walls before finally falling down the stairs and out of sight.

Bon looked down, 'HEY! YOU FORGOT YOUR... stake.'


	2. Chapter 2

Harry was sat on her own under one of the various huge trees that cast tranquil reflections on the lake and grass around it where many students sat with friends eating lunch. Harry saw the new girl, Hermione walking around the lake. _Just what we need, _Harry thought, _another Barbie doll. Look at her... walking towards me. Why is she walking towards me?_

'Harry, right?'

'Um... yeah. Do you w-want me to move? 'Cause i can move. I'll move.' Harry said hurriedly.

'No, don't move, I just wanna talk to you. Is anyone sitting here?' Hermione asked before sitting down.

'Weren't you talking to Lavender?'

'Can't I do both?'

'Not legally.'

'Well, I get the feeling a pencil sharpener could give Lavender a run for her money at a game of 'Who has the higher IQ?'' To Hermione's relief, Harry laughed. Maybe she could make friends after all. 'So, I've just transferred from Durmstrang and I'm behind at least a term on all my work so I'm in need of a little study support. I heard you were the girl to talk to?'

'Oh. Yeah. Sure. I'm _so_ the witch girl.'

'Well that's great, you see, I'm kinda not so great on the whole school thing. At Durmstrang we even-'

Hermione was cut off by the arrival of Josso and Bon, I mean, Ron.

'Hey! Hermione is it?' Ron asked.

'Umm, yeah. Hi.' Hermione replied giving Harry a look which said it all. The look that said it all said; _Have you _met _this guy?_

'Wait? You know each other?' Josso asked, slightly confused.

'Oh, yea, Hermione and I go _way_ back. Old friends, actually.' After a pause, in which Josso, Harry and Hermione all gave Ron looks involving unnatural heights reacted by eyebrows. 'Here, you dropped this in the hallway.' Ron said, handing Hermione her stake back. 'All I could think is that you're making a really little wooden fence.'

'Oh, well, umm, yeah. Self defence. Everyone has 'em in Durmstrang, you know, using _actual_ magic or our wands is just _so _passé.' Hermione said hurriedly, taking back her stake.

'Right.' Josso said, purely because he hadn't spoken so far.

Just then, Lavender and her 'followers' including a Gryffindor girl named Parvati walked past. '...Dead?' Parvati exclaimed.

'Yup. As dead as my love for my parents. Can you believe they stopped buying me everything I asked for? I mean it was _just_ a boat. I was like 'Come on mom, money isn't everything.'

'What did she say?'

'She took away all of my allowance! Can you believe that?' Lavender's words were greeted by gasps of horror, which were absent when she announced someone had died.

'Lavender?' Hermione got up and walked over to Lavender and her followers. 'Who died?'

'Ergh. I shouldn't even be talking to you after you decided to take social suicide by hanging out with _those _circus freak rejects.' Again, Lavenders words were greeted with some sort of emotion; this time laughter. God, they were well trained.

'Lavender. Focus. Who died?'

'I don't know but I was talking to Susan Bones, who said that she opened up the cupboard in one of the Potions classrooms and this _corpse_ just _fell_ out.'

'Were they any marks?' Hermione inquired. Where her worst fears coming true? Vampires at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?

'Marks? I didn't ask. Morbid much?' Lavender looked Hermione up and down before leading her groupies on. Many of them intimidated Lavenders action as she walked. Hermione reminded herself to laugh later. Now she had to examine the body.

Turning back to Ron, Harry and Josso, Hermione said, 'I'm sorry, I've gotta go. Thanks for the stake. I'll see you guys around?' Pointedly looking at Harry for the last part. And with that she ran back into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, leaving the sun kissed grounds behind her.

* * *

After examining the body, Hermione discovered that the victim had indeed been killed by vampires. Oddly enough, she also found the victim's fly undone. So that's why Hermione was where she was now. On her way to see Professor Flitwick. He knew something. Remarkably, Hermione was finding her way around Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry very well. But, let's face it, she's the heroine. She paused only for a quick swallow of Jack Daniel's in the bathroom.

She marched into the empty Charms classroom; 'Professor Flitwick! Get out here! I need to talk to you!'

Out scuttled Professor Flitwick. 'Ah, Miss Granger. What can I do for you?'

'I'll tell you what you can do for me, you can tell me why there is a corpse in the Potions lab that has two little holes in its neck and all its blood drained?'

'Well I'd have thought a vampire slayer such as yourself could have figured that out.' He replied coolly.

'I'm not a vampire slayer!'

'I think you'll find you are. Are you not Hermione Granger?'

'Yes, I am Hermione Granger but I am not a vampire slayer!' She said, her voice rising in anger. 'I was, until I got expelled from Durmstrang because of it. Then I quit. I was done with it and still am.'

'I'm afraid you can't 'quit' Miss Granger, you-'

'No, I'm afraid YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME!' Hermione bellowed, her temper flaring. She really could do with a drink. 'Just, just leave me alone.'

'Miss Granger, I understand your distress but I am afraid this is your destiny and you cannot just run away from that.' Flitwick said calmly, he did sound like he knew her pain. He sounded like he understood, which made Hermione all the more furious. If he understood, why was he making her carry on doing this? 'You can't run away from what is meant to be,'

'Watch me.' Hermione said icily and left the classroom.

'Look, Miss Granger,' Flitwick said, following her quickly. 'I know your upset but if you '_quit' _then a lot of innocent people are going to get hurt. You can't say you don't care about that.' Hermione stopped. 'You see, this school is built on a Hogmouth, a gateway to hell. It acts as a magnet for vampires, demons, monsters, anything evil you can think of comes here to experience the Hogmouth's fierce energy. It's my belief that you have come here for a reason. I believe that reason was fate.'

'Look, I appreciate your just trying to do your job or calling or whatever and I think deep down I know I'll always be a vampire slayer its just I don't want to _just _be a vampire slayer. I want friends. A life. I want to be normal. At least half of the time.' Having left her mark, Hermione left, leaving the tiny tiny tiny man standing in the hallway alone.

* * *

Later that evening, after getting settled into her dormitory back in the Gryffindor common room, Hermione was getting ready to go out to one of Hogsmeade's hottest clubs, 'The Copper.' It had been a very stressful day for Hermione and, being the high class girl she is, she was looking forward to getting pissed, dancing like a whore and then pouring herself back into her dorm around midnight. Ish. Luckily for Hermione, she didn't need to do her hair or make up, it was always immaculate. 24/7.

Soon enough, Hermione was strutting her stuff down the corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She hoped to meet up with some people at the club, but was forced to walk there by herself. Which was, lets face it, a stupid thing to do, not knowing where the hell the place was and all.

Shortly after exiting Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Hermione had the sneaking suspicion she was being followed.

_Don't be so paranoid, _She told herself firmly, _you just need a drink, that's all. _Hermione kept walking, but slightly unnerved, she quickened her pace.

SNAP!

Behind her, a branch snapped under someone's foot.

'Oh! Fuck!' She heard someone not so far behind her mutter.

She _was_ being followed. _RUN!_ She heard a voice in her head exclaim. And she did.

Hermione ran and ran. In which direction, she wasn't entirely sure, it was dark and she was scared. She heard her heart pounding in her ears. Possibly from fear, or possibly from the fact that she hadn't been to gym in months. She wasn't sure if she imagined it, but Hermione thought she heard some one running behind her. Some one who _had_ been to the gym recently.

Finally, Hermione saw the lights of Hogsmeade and ran into an alley, luring her stalker. Boy, was she gonna have to kick some ass.

Hermione saw a shadow figured cautiously step out into the light below. An aspiring gymnast, Hermione had conveniently found a balancing beam and was now performing a tricky handstand on top of it. As her stalker walked further and further into the alley, Hermione swung down from the beam, kicking him in the head in the process. He went down like a really really heavy bird falling out of a tree.

'Who are you?' Hermione asked, putting her designer boot under his chin so he knew she was serious. 'I'll ask again, who are you?' Hermione put more force on the boot, compromising his breathing. Or so she thought...

'My - my name is, is,' the stranger coughed, choking slightly, 'My name is - Oh My God! Are those boots Prada?'

'Oh! You'd think so, wouldn't you? Really there from Top Witch, but aren't they fabulous!' Realising what she was saying, and coming to her senses, Hermione pressed on with her interrogation. 'Who are you?'

'My name is Blaise,' said Blaise, pushing off her boot and getting to his feet.

'So, _Blaise_, why were you following me?'

'I was trying to find out if you were who I thought you were.' He replied, straightening out the creases in his leather coat. 'To tell you the truth, I thought you'd be bigger. You're spry though,' He continued, rubbing the back of his head.

'Whatever, just leave me alone.' Hermione said. She wasn't in the mood for any games and she still hadn't gotten her drink.

'Hey,' Blaise called, 'Catch.' Blaise chucked a small round box to Hermione.

'How do you know me?' Hermione yelled down the alley, catching the box.

'Let's just say, I'm a friend,' Blaise replied coolly, walking away.

'Yeah, well maybe I don't need another friend.'

'I didn't say I was yours.' He said mysteriously, before vanishing back into the shadows.

Hermione opened the box to find a silver cross on a chain. It was beautiful. She picked it up and put it on.

'Fuck!' Hermione heard some one exclaim from the shadows. Blaise ran back out and quickly said, 'I forgot to mention; The Master, big evil plan, the Harvest, evil stuff going down, Hogmouth.' And with that, he made another, slightly less impressive, exit.


	3. Chapter 3

Only a short time later, Hermione was wondering through the mass of bodies, living bodies not corpses, with her drink, desperately searching for a familiar face. Having not found anyone near the bar, and fearing she was about to be chatted up by a guy wearing clothes straight out of Saved By The Bell, Hermione moved on to the few tables that were found in The Copper. On one of these tables, she found Harry.

'HEY!' She yelled, way too enthusiastically. 'You OK?'

'Oh, Hi. Yeah, I'm fine. I was kinda hoping Ron might show.' She said miserably with a pathetic half smile.

'Oh, do you guys go out or something?' Hermione inquired.

'Oh, no. We used to, but we broke up.'

'How come?'

'He stole my Barbie.' Hermione gave Harry a look that was absent of eyebrows as Hermione's had reached her hair and vanished. Off Hermione's look, Harry continued, 'Oh, don't worry, it was six months ago.'

'Oh!' Hermione laughed, fully relieved.

'Yeah, you see, I don't do well with boys.'

'How come?' Hermione asked.

'Well, when I'm with a guy, it's hard for me to say anything funny or intelligent or at all. I usually make a couple of vowels sounds and then I have to go away.'

'Well, I have a motto. Would you like to hear my motto?' Hermione said enthusiastically.

'Sure.'

'Carpe Diem. It means seize the day. You know, coz, tomorrow, you might be dead.'

'Seize the day.' Harry repeated. 'Seize the day.'

Happy to see the positive affect her motto had had on Harry, Hermione took in her surroundings. The Copper was basically a warehouse that someone had furnished with a few tables, some sofas, a bar and a stage. Hermione liked it. It had a retro feel, and, let's not forget, served alcohol. As she took in her surroundings, she saw Professor Flitwick stood on the first story looking down on the students.

'Um, Harry, I gotta go and meet someone, OK? I'll be back in a bit.'

'It's OK, you don't have to come back if you don't want. I mean, if you have other things to do.' Harry said timidly. Hermione was really beginning to like her.

'I'll be back.' She said, hoping that she wasn't going to be sued for copyright.

'Seize the day.' Harry muttered to herself again, smiling. 'Huh.'

As Hermione pushed her way to the stairs, she walked past Josso, talking to a certain peroxide stranger. 'So, where you from?' Josso asked.

'Oh... around,' Draco replied seductively.

'Yea know, Draco's a rarely uncommon name,' Josso said, desperately trying to make conversation. 'Although I never met anyone else called Josso either - '

Suddenly, without warning, Draco threw himself at Josso, forcing him back into a wall. Draco pushed himself up against Josso and whispered sexily in his ear, 'I'm tired of talking.' Before sticking his tongue down his throat. Josso, needless to say, was powerless to resist.

Hermione finally found Flitwick. 'I didn't realise how much teachers loved to party on down with the students.' Flitwick jumped. 'Ah, Miss Granger.'

'So, are you with someone or did you just come to party by yourself?' She teased.

'Hardly. This _club_ is a typical feeding ground for vampire activity. It's full of teenage lust and raging hormones. Defences are down, it's perfect.'

'OK, OK, I get why you're here.' Hermione said, wondering if this guy had ever been fun. 'I met your friend by the way.'

'My friend? Who would that be?' Flitwick replied.

Unbeknownst to Hermione or the Professor, at this point, Ron Weasley was know intently listening to their conversation. _What the hell were they talking about?_ He hadn't meant to eaves drop but he saw Hermione and was waiting for her to finish her conversation before saying 'hi'. Also at this time, Josso was becoming very familiar with his new friend Draco, and Harry was meeting the acquaintance of Thomas, who, frankly looked like he was wearing something straight out of Saved By The Bell.

'Yeah, _Blaise _or something. Tall. Dark. Attractive in a painstakingly obvious way. Slightly gay. Said something about The Master and some kind of Harvest or something. You sure you don't know him?'

'Er, positive, now what did he say about The Master?'

'Big evil plan were his exact words I believe. Oh, and the harvest.' He wasn't really big with the description.' Hermione was really loosing interest on the subject now and she noticed her bottle was empty.

'Well, was he a vampire? This is most intriguing.'

'Intriguing? You need to get out more.' Hermione quickly continued before Flitwick could scold her for her remark. He was a Professor, after all. 'How should I know if he was a vampire or not? They don't really wear ID.'

'You're a vampire slayer. Look. This club. Can you tell me if there is a vampire in this club?'

'Er, I could guess...' Hermione began.

'I don't want you to guess. The point is you _should_ be able to point out a vampire in your surroundings. Try it now. Hone your instincts. Look around. Channel your - '

'There's one!' Hermione said simply.

'W-what? Where?'

'That guy, talking to that girl over there.' Hermione did her best to point him out. She was beginning to wonder if Flitwick was blind as well as stupidly small. _I really could do with a pineapple Barcadi Breezer, _she thought_, aren't pineapples the best?_

'That's impossible. How could you possibly know if he was a vampire, you barely even listened to what I said, let alone did it.' Flitwick scoffed.

'Please! Have you _seen_ what his wearing? It looks like its straight from Saved By The Bell! Only someone who hadn't been out in sunlight for a decade would think that was still cool.'

'It's dated?' Flitwick asked, doing his best not to sound impressed.

'It's _carbon _dated.' Hermione replied, not even sure if what she said made sense. As they looked at the vampire in question, Hermione noticed something. The girl he was with...

'Isn't that...'

'Harry.' Hermione said, hating herself.

'What's she doing?'

'Seizing the day.' Hermione quickly tried to make her way through the crowd, followed by Ron, who still had no idea what was going on. He rarely did.

As Hermione hit the ground floor, she was approached by a dorky-looking guy with pathetic curtains who looked at least two years too old to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

'BUFFY!' He exclaimed and hugged her tightly. 'Thank God I found you! Listen, Willow performed a spell that sent you, Giles, Xander, Willow and possibly some others into this twisted universe where everyone believes their characters in a book! Listen there isn't much time, we need to - '

'STOP!' Hermione finally interrupted. What was this guys damage? 'What's Buffy? What the hell are you talking about? Who are you?'

'D-don't you remember me? It's me. Riley.' The guy, apparently named Riley said pathetically.

'Nope, sorry. Look, I really don't have time for this.' Hermione walked away, searching for Harry as Riley burst into tears and began to cry like a little girl. _Buffy? Xander? Hasn't that freak heard of normal names, like Blaise or Josso?_ Hermione thought.

Hermione headed into the back, searching for Harry and her special little friend. Snapping the leg off her chair for a stake, Hermione cautiously walked around the corner where she saw something move. Impulsively, she stabbed it through the heart with her stake, before, 'HERMIONE!'

It was Lavender. 'LAVENDER?' Hermione exclaimed.

'What is your damage?' Lavender demanded, taking the stake from her heart.

'I'm so sorry, have your seen Harry around here?'

'Why, do you need attack her with this little stick?' By this time, Lavender had been accompanied by Parvati and others, so Hermione left. A scene was the last thing she needed right now.

Hermione went back into the bustling main area of The Copper, where she found Flitwick. 'Did you kill it?'

'No, I couldn't find them.'

'You mean, the vampire is not dead?'

'No, but my social status is on a critical list,' Hermione said with the iciness she felt. How could she left Harry do this? If it wasn't for her stupid motto, Harry would be safe. 'I'm going to find her.'

'Ok, do you need help?' Flitwick asked, obviously doubting the slayer's skills.

'Please, I do this for a living.'

And Hermione left the club, finding herself in the streets of Hogsmeade once again. Ron was standing against a building, looking thoroughly confused.

'Ron, have you seen Harry? It's urgent.' Hermione asked.

'No, I haven't,' he replied. As Hermione began to leave, he added, 'I hope she isn't a vampire, otherwise you might need to _slay _her.' Hermione froze. How did he know? Was there a school bulletin?

'How do you know? Was there a school bulletin?' Hermione asked worriedly.

'Relax, I heard you and Flitwick talking about it.'

Slightly relieved, Hermione pressed on, 'Ron, where would Harry go? It's important.'

'God, you actually believe in all this don't you?' Ron said, disbelievingly.

'Ron, where would Harry go? If I don't get to her, she will die.' Hermione said very slowly and clearly. That struck something. He finally realised everything he had heard was _true_. It made sense; all the times people had turned up dead in his town with no blood left in them and a ruptured neck, all those Dracula conventions, Ozzy Osbourne; it all made sense now. _Vampires were real._

* * *

Harry and Thomas were walking hand in hand. _Hermione was right, _Harry thought,_ why haven't I had the courage to do this before?_ Thomas lead Harry towards the cemetery.

'But, the ice cream bar is on fifth street.' Harry said nervously, she didn't like cemeteries.

'I know a short cut,' Thomas whispered in her ear and led her on.

Harry was slightly reluctant but felt quite safe with this guy. He was different to most guys she knew. He didn't make fun of her or judged her, he just liked her. Harry liked him too.

Suddenly, he stopped. Harry was suddenly very aware of how cold and dark it was. Thomas stood behind her and whispered in her ear. 'Have your ever been in a mausoleum before?'

'No and I don't want to.' She said firmly. Thomas was starting to creep her out. Why was he doing this? Suddenly, Thomas grabbed her by the shoulder and threw her into the mausoleum. She landed on the floor hard. She looked back at Thomas. There was something wrong with his face but she couldn't quite see in the darkness...

Someone else entered the mausoleum.

'Nice offering, but there's hardly enough to share.' The stranger said to Thomas, Harry hoped to God that they weren't talking about her.

'Well, at least I brought something, where's your offering?' Thomas retorted. He sounded different. Why was he doing this? Was this some kind of sick joke?

Someone else stumbled in, 'Wow, Draco, that was some hiccie.'

'Josso!'

Josso fell towards Harry and she stumbled to catch him. She could see the other guy now, he had quite long, peroxide hair and seemed to be slightly gay. 'What?' he said off Thomas' look, 'I got hungry on the way.'

'Er, Harry. We're just friends, I swear, I thought he was a girl, please don't tell my mom about this,' Josso pleaded. Harry was so confused.

'Come on, let's get out of here' She said as she helped Josso to his feet.

'Oh, your not going anywhere until we've FED!' Draco said as he changed. Suddenly, he had fangs and a ridge above his nose and well, basic vampire features, really.

Understandably, Harry screamed. Not so understandably, Josso thought Draco looked really sexy as a vampire. I swear, some people are just messed up.

'STUPEFY!' Harry yelled, brandishing her wand. Draco laughed, obviously not becoming paralysed.

'You think your little wand is a match for me?' He said as he snapped Harry's wand in half. Harry nearly fainted.

But luckily, Hermione entered, followed by Ron. 'Well this is nice. A little dusty, but, you know, a few throw pillows, call it home.' The appearance of this cocky girl didn't go down to well with Draco and Thomas. And Harry was now totally confused. What was Hermione doing here?

'Who the hell are you?' Draco growled, as Thomas crept up behind Hermione in order to trap her.

'You mean there's someone in this town who _doesn't _know already? Thank god! Having a secret identity in this town is a job of work!'

As Thomas made his move and tried to bite Hermione, she quickly brought out a stake and pierced his heart with it. Josso, Draco, Ron and Harry watched in horror as Thomas fell to the floor and exploded into dust, accompanied with pretty bad computer affects.

'He was weak!' Draco yelled, apparently his moment of horror as he watched Thomas fall to the floor and explode into dust, accompanied with pretty bad computer affects, was over.

'Ron! Take Harry and Josso, Leave!' Hermione yelled. Ron did as he was told, never bothering to call her a bossy cow.

'Don't go far!' Draco yelled after them, as they left the mausoleum.

BANG!

Draco received a kick to the face, courtesy of Hermione, which sent him hurtling to the floor. Draco jumped to his feet to deliver a square on punch to Hermione's jaw which got another punch in retaliation. Several more punches, kicks and falls, led to Draco finding himself on the floor once more. Hermione stood, looking down on him as he said weakly, 'Who are you?'

'Don't you know?' She replied coolly, before a very large and rude vampire came up behind her and threw her into a crypt. Meanie. 'I don't care.' He said simply. 'Go and get the others,' He then said to Draco.

In the crypt, Hermione lay still, she could only hear the sound of her breathing. Silently, she began to get up when suddenly, the large rude vampire pounced on her like a cat. He bared his fangs and went in for the kill...


	4. Chapter 4

**NOTES: **This is a short chapter, I know, but if this one wasn't short, the others would end at a stupid point and it just wouldn't have worked well, dammit!

Can I also just say how good it is to be back on FanFiction! I developed a slight obsession in autumn and then by spring I just abandoned it, but now I'm getting back into the full swing, even though I'll have to entice people back to read my fics, I'm enjoying being back, although it's changed a lot! I'm even attempting a short one off fic this evening, after being inspired by an amazing Sinistra/Snape fic I'm currently involved with.

So, as always, ENJOY!

* * *

Hermione struggled against the large vampire but his weight and size proved to be her disadvantage. As he got closer, she could feel his breath on her neck.

Suddenly the vampire screamed, 'MY GOD WOMAN YOUR BREATH!' and recoiled in horror as he felt his nostrils erode.

Despite her offence, Hermione seized the moment and brandished a pineapple from her back pocket, (bet you didn't see that one coming folks!) threatening to throw it at the vamp, who, jumped back in fear, landing clumsily on the floor, allowing Hermione to make her exit.

As she ran through the graveyard in search of her new friends, she thanked the Pineapple God that vampires feared pineapples as much as they did. Every slayer through out time had had a rather disturbing love for pineapples, a fruit, vampires found lethal if ever coming into contact with.

After a little while of running, jogging, then walking and finally sitting down for a couple of minutes to regain her strength, (she really _did_ need to hit the gym) Hermione heard a girl scream. Running in the direction of the squeal, Hermione found Ron being chased after by a small vampire infant who was a couple of feet taller than Flitwick. Ron continued to scream as Hermione jumped on the infant, crushing it under her terribly un-worked out body.

Before she could mock Ron for his terribly embarrassing squeal, for which his excuse later was that the vampire infant had poked him really really hard, Hermione's well trained bat-like ears picked up yet another scream, this time from Harry. Instinctively, Hermione ran to her rescue, enjoying another quick sit down and a shot of vodka from the 'Mourners Mini Bar' (COMING SOON TO EBAY!) along the way.

After fighting off a rather beastly vampire all by herself, _Honestly? Would it have killed Harry and Ron to help her?_, they realised that Josso was nowhere to be seen.

'That's it!' Hermione cried in desperation, 'Come Monday morning, collars with bells on will be mandatory!'

* * *

The next day, Ron, Harry and Hermione found themselves in Flitwick's Charms classroom, as he spoke in a monotone about how demons and vampires were created. Being the geek, I mean, lively interesting and unique person that she is, Harry was fascinated, yet horrified at this new world of excitement that she had been plunged into. Ron meanwhile, was finding amusement trying to look down Hermione's shirt, whilst, of course, fearing for his best friends life. Hermione managed to sit there looking interested, all the while pissed out of her skull with all her clothes on backwards, a childish grin _plastered_ to her face.

As Flitwick stood atop a large pile of books, he found the looks of awe, concentration and whatever the hell look Hermione had on her face. 'Don't worry, Jammy will be fine,' Hermione said slurredly, placing a drunken hand on Harry's shoulder and missing, falling heavily to the floor, giggling insanely.

'Harry, Ron, the drunken hoe is right, you shouldn't worry about Josso, the vampire's have only captured him to lure Hermione to them.' Harry and Ron made solemn faces, but attempted freaky-ass smiles non the less. Flitwick continued comfortingly, 'Look at it this way, worse case scenario; Josso is tortured by the vampires horribly and painfully while he begs them to kill him and when they finally do, after what seems like to Josso, years of unimaginable torture, they turn him into a vampire, and he then seeks revenge on us all for not helping him, doing to us what the vampires did to him.' Flitwick smiled. 'So don't worry, the chances of that happening are very slim, I mean, we have Hermione protecting us.'

Ron and Harry shared knowing glances and Hermione snored loudly, sounding as if a pneumatic drill had taken her place.

* * *

Josso found himself in a darkened room where he was chained to a bed. His momentary fear had been replaced by excitement as he searched for Draco in the darkness. Suddenly, Josso found him, as he took off Josso's blindfold. He found he was not chained to a bed, but a wall and that many other men in leather were eying him in a way that made him feel uncomfortable. Draco kissed him to make him feel more at home and told him that he was going to make Josso young and beautiful forever. _Oh My God! He called me beautiful!_

Josso's momentary bliss ended abruptly as he felt two very sharp teeth sink into his neck for the second time in two days. He felt a odd warm sensation as his blood was drained.

As Josso's body became limp, Draco pierced the tip of his finger and shoved it forcefully into Josso's mouth, forcing him to drink. As he did so, he felt his strength return, but more than he had ever known.

He was a vampire.

But at least he had a boyfriend.


	5. Chapter 5

**NOTES: **This chapter is nice and long (and yes, I have realised I could have made the previous chapter longer, so don't bother pointing out.).

Work has now begun on my one shot fic to help me get back into writing (this is just reposted with mistakes corrected) and it involves a painting and Luna Lovegood, who, I have come to realise is a great character and I love writing her, I may use her for HTVS 2. And speaking of, a plot for Hermione the Vampire Slayer 2 is being cooked up by my brilliant mind! It's based on none other than the amazing episode that is 'Hush', but will still include your favourite vampire characters; Josso, Draco and Moudlevort.

Nine Lives is also progressing, though rather slowly. It's all work work work!

I also feel I should mention the terrorist attacks which happened today in London. My condolences go out to all those who have been affected by this tragedy and I hope that everyone finds their relatives safe and well.

ENJOY!

* * *

'AHA!' Flitwick cried sounding very much like a deranged rat on helium, 'The Harvest, here it is!' Hermione, who had just regained consciousness, yawned sleepily, whilst Ron and Harry looked over at the vertically challenged man over big ancient looking tomes which, to Ron's amusement, were full of 'Help-U-Learn' puzzles, crosswords and other juvenile games. ('I sent off for them especially!' Flitwick had previously informed them with disturbing glee.)

'Now, it says here that it is a process by which vampires feed from muggle-born wizards in order to free an ancient vampire who was imprisoned by his former lover.' Flitwick read with curiosity.

'So...?' Ron said, trying his best to look like his understand what was happening. 'OH MY GOD!' Ron said, looking at the book in front of him, 'Two down; 'Anagram of 'os'. I've cracked it!' He hurriedly filled it in with his blue crayon whilst giggling merrily to himself.

'Basically,' Harry continued, ignoring Ron's outburst, even though she _was_ happy for him, 'This ancient vampire pissed off his girlfriend and so she trapped him and these other vampires are gonna kill muggle born wizards in order to free him?'

'Sounds about right.' Flitwick said, pleased that he had both, imparted wisdom and also, had friends in his classroom who he weren't being forced to talk to him. 'But it will only be one vampire doing the killing. They we be called the Vessel.'

'How does one vampire feeding free another though?' Hermione asked.

'Well the vampire in question must perform a sexual act with a willing participant, the Vessel, and then when the time is right, the muggle borns the Vessel feeds on will give the trapped vampire enough strength to walk free.' Flitwick explained.

'Do we have a name for this dude?' Hermione asked.

'Oh, yes, its here, 'MOULDEVORT''

'Great, we're fighting ancient German cheese,' Hermione added sarcastically.

'So what do we do first?' Ron asked, having filled in S and O in the right boxes (on the third attempt).

'We?' Hermione asked, sitting properly in her chair. 'Look...guys,' She had forgotten their names completely. In fact, who the hell were they? Where was she? What happened to her drink? That much she remembered. 'Umm, I don't know how to say this but, its not safe for you...guys.' She paused but continued quickly to stop them from interrupting. 'I appreciate you wanna help and everything but I kinda need to do the fighting stuff on my own.'

Ron looked incredibly downtrodden.

'Ron, I'm sorry, but I'll find Josso, I promise.'

'How? How will you find him? You don't even know him!' Ron felt the emotion building inside of him and only partly due to the fact it was his time of the month. The fact that now Hermione was conscious he couldn't look down her top was also a factor.

'Well, I mean, there's gotta be a lair, right?' She said in defence, turning to her watcher for support.

'Yes and most probably the same one in which we'll find Mouldevort imprisoned in. The vampires you faced were most likely his followers and most likely the ones that will feed on the muggle borns for him.'

'THE MAUSOLEUM!' Harry added rather loudly and quickly, I mean, she hadn't had many lines to say so far.

'What?'

'The mausoleum last night! They must have taken us there for a reason! Maybe the entrance to where Mouldevort is trapped is through the mausoleum?' Harry explained, sounding less and less sure as she went on.

Maybe that was why she didn't talk much.

'Hermione?' Flitwick asked, waking Hermione from her thoughtful trance, 'Ring any bells?'

'Well, actually,' She said slowly, still trying to work things out whilst Harry, Ron and Flitwick sat saying 'Bud' 'Wise' 'Er' between them, rather annoyingly reminding her of the cold beer she wanted so bad. (It's possible this may have been an after affect of her alcoholism. Giving up was just so much work, damn it! How the hell did the other slayers stay sober?)

After a rather lengthy pause, she continued, 'The other brute vampire guy, the one who pounced on me? Well he came up behind me whilst I was facing the exit, so, he must have come in another way! THE ENTRANCE TO THE LAIR IS IN THE MAUSOLEUM!'

A rather unimpressed hubbub of agreement followed.

'That hot blonde vamp must have doubled back after her chased us out!' Ron added, also rising and sharing Hermione's excitement.

'Wait, did I just say hot? I meant cute. No! I didn't mean cute I meant hot. No! I mean - I didn't mean - I - er - I meant...' Ron became very red in the face and was sweating profusely.

'Anyway,' Harry said quickly, guiding the conversation away from the confusion of her dearest friend, 'What are you gonna do Hermione?'

'I don't know, Harry, I just don't know.'

'Perhaps a plan of some sort?' Flitwick prompted helpfully.

'A PLAN! GREAT!' Hermione exclaimed, jumping about slightly and gesturing erratically in that super annoying way of hers. 'Ok, I'll march over to the Mausoleum, breaking anything they may be locked, coz, you know, the super strength. THEN I'll march in there all cocky like with the quips and again, the super strength and be all hero like!'

'Great! It's good with, you know, the marching, and stuff.' Ron said, standing up, which soon led to him sitting down and shutting up.

'But what about us Hermione? We wanna help.' Harry said in the way that reminded Hermione of that timid little person she had been when they first met.

'You can help me!' Flitwick said, 'We need to find out more about this Harvest thing and possibly what the Hogmouth is really doing to Hogwarts. Its actually rather fascinating.'

While Harry looked interested, Ron rolled his eyes.

'Ron, don't worry, I'll find Josso.' Hermione said comfortingly.

'Good luck,' He said, more under his breath than for Hermione.

* * *

Hermione strolled powerfully through the ancient corridors and down the winding staircase, stopping only when she reached the grand gates which, to her surprise, where locked. 'DAMN!' She muttered.

'Going somewhere, Ms. Granger?' Professor Dumbledore crept up behind her. 'Because walking off school campus on only the second day of school is the sort of thing that leads to expulsion.'

Hermione shielded her eyes from the midday sun that was bouncing off his bald little head.

'Professor Flitwick.' She said simply.

'Professor Flitwick?'

'Yea, he, um, asked he to fetch him some books. From Hogsmeade. Special books.'

'I see,' _Well I friggin' don't! _Hermione thought, trying and failing to shield her eyes from his radiating head. 'And, may I ask what is wrong with the books in the school library?'

'Oh, nothing, um, sir, they're just brilliant its just, you see, Professor Flitwick wanted some specific books on, er -'

'What?'

'He didn't actually say but if you go and ask him, he'll back me up. 100.'

'Well no offence to Professor Flitwick but he is not the Headmaster of this school, I am and I don't think that a new student such as yourself should be trotting into Hogsmeade when she should be in lessons.'

Hermione merely nodded as Professor Dumbledore walked away. After a moment of two, Hermione crouched down and leaped over the tall gates, landing perfectly on the other side. 'Oh crap,' she muttered, obviously referring to what she had landed _in_.

* * *

Somewhere, deep deep down below Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a powerful vampire named Mouldevort was trapped. He was in a shadowed room where there was little lighting and the wallpaper was a hideous yellow. The same colour as the door. This large room was going to be for him and his lover but after Mouldevort teased his lover's decorating taste, he sealed him in the room by wallpapering the door. Mouldevort couldn't bring himself to touch the hideous wallpaper and the bright colours burned him if he got too close and whenever anyone entered or left the room, he always seemed to have his eyes closed or was facing the wrong way. Everyday he cursed his ex-lover.

Everyday he cursed Blaise for doing this to him.

They had met after Draco had sired Blaise and the three were involved in a comical love triangle like that episode of every American show and after forcing Blaise to chose, Draco found himself out in the cold.

Unbeknownst to Mouldevort, as soon as Blaise and he split, Draco's ex lover had returned to him, before vanishing after taking Casper the friendly ghost too seriously and setting out to be the world's friendliest vampire in the hope of one day having his own film.

You see, its not just humans or wizards or witches or slayers or ugly people that have complicated love lives!

In this room, Mouldevort heard a door open somewhere in the shadows and a voice sound behind him. It was Seamus, one of his followers.

'Mouldevort, your highness, it was the slayer as you predicted.'

'The slayer? Here? Now? The Harvest is almost upon on us and the slayer is here now?' He paused, puzzled. 'Where is the body?'

'I - er - I didn't kill her, Master.'

'WHAT!' The ancient vampire roared.

'She was too strong and she had pineapples.' Mouldevort inhaled quickly in shock as Seamus continued. 'She was well prepared.'

'She'll ruin everything! I want her killed before the Harvest!' He bellowed.

'But sire, why not _use_ her at the Harvest? The blood of a slayer would definitely free you from his prison,' He explained, looking around the walls in disgust. If there was one colour vampires hated, it was yellow, the colour of pineapples, the colour of death. That, and black, they hate the colour black.

Mouldevort considered this, 'Well done Seamus, this has done well for you, you shall be the Vessel.'

Seamus' eyes lit up excitedly as Mouldevort pulled him towards the bed.

The exact same thing was happening between Draco and Josso at the same moment.

Awww, vampire lovin'.

* * *

'Oh my god! No way!' Parvati's horrible shriek of a voice could be heard through out the library, especially by Harry, who was working alone next to them. She had been helping Flitwick for a while and was now searching the library for significant articles on Hogwarts' history.

'That's what I thought! She was running at me with this stick screaming 'I'm gonna kill you!'' Lavender explained, enjoying the attention of those around her.

'No way!' Another girl exclaimed.

'What the hell kinda name is named '_Hermione_' anyway?' Parvati asked shallowly.

'Obviously a psycho!' Lavender retorted.

'Why did she do it to you?' A girl Harry didn't know asked, as if Lavender had been the victim of a terrible crime.

'I think it's coz of my hair, you know...' She said dreamily playing with said hair. Followed by awed nods of agreement. 'It's understandable but doesn't make her any less of a psycho.' She said simply.

It was too much for Harry, collecting the books she needed, she strolled over to Lavender, some what confidently and said, 'She's not a psycho.' There was a moment of shock or rather, realisation, as the girls noticed her.

'And who gave you permission to exist?' Lavender said, twirling her hair.

'You don't even know her,' Harry said and walked off, not wanting to let Lavender have the last word.

Out in the corridor, just outside of the library, Harry bumped into Ron who was walking quickly somewhere.

'Hey!' Harry said, jogging over to him. 'Where you headed?' After a second, Harry guessed from his guilty look. 'Your going to find Hermione aren't you?'

'Harry, I have too! Josso's my best bud and if anything happens to him...' he trailed off, looking at his shoes.

'Nothing will happen to him! Hermione will bring him back, she's the one with the super powers. If you wanna help, help me and Flitwick.'

Finally looking up to meet Harry's glance, Ron said, 'Josso is my best bud and I know he'd do the same for me. I'm not like you Harry, I can't just sit there and I was never anything special with the book worming anyway.'

'But-'

'Harry, nothing you say is gonna stop me. At least wish me luck.'

'Good luck.' Harry said, hugging Ron. She knew his heart was in the right place but she just wished he didn't get himself hurt. She didn't want all three of her friends dead.

At least not in the same day.

* * *

Hermione found herself in the Mausoleum after a brief stroll through the graveyard. She stood facing a large stone doorway that fitted in so well with the mausoleum it could have been camouflaged. There were rusty chains around the doors.

'I wouldn't go in there if I were you.' A familiar voice said behind her. Hermione turned around, she knew who it was, it was Blaise.

'I got a friend down there, do you know what its like to have a friend?' She asked cockily. The mysterious stranger looked down. Hermione felt bad for the guy.

'I'm sorry, that wasn't meant to be a hard question.'

'Do you even know what's down there?' He asked.

'Vampires, big heaps of evil, a trapped ancient dude, am I getting close?'

'Be careful down there, those guys aren't really too friendly.'

'Believe me, I can take a couple of old vampires.' She paused. 'So if you knew they've been down here all this time, why didn't you think to ever take care of them yourself?' She asked, very curious to find out the answer.

Blaise grinned and said, 'They really don't like me down there.'

'Right, well if your not going down, I am. Thanks for the cross and all.' And with a superb display of her super strength, Hermione broke the rusty chains that lay across the door to prevent snooty vampire slayers going down and killing them all. 'You know -' Hermione began, turning round to find Blaise gone.

* * *

Harry walked into Flitwick's classroom as the tiny man looked up from his book, 'Hermione?'

'No, it's just me,' Harry said, 'I take it there's no word?'

'No, I'm afraid not, I'm afraid.' Harry looked puzzled, as Flitwick realised what he'd said, he quickly changed the subject. 'Did you find anything out?'

'Oh yea!' Harry said enthusiastically, pulling a lot of sheets of paper she had printed from the internet. 'I was looking through all the old newspapers from the Hogmouth area and weird stuff has been happening since about 1920, the time Mouldevort settled here.'

'Oh yes? What kind of stuff?'

'Well, it rained frogs for a day in 1924, and then right through the 60's people believed we should, oh, what was it?' She said, rummaging through her papers looking for a particular document. 'Oh, that was it, they thought we should, 'Give peace a chance'.'

'Dear God, the Hogmouth has affected people in more twisted ways than I could ever imagine. Poor deluded souls. Give peace a chance?' He chuckled.

'Well anyway, that's pretty much why Hogwarts was built here, all the mystical energy here makes it the ideal place for magic and spells.'

'Yes, yes.' Flitwick said breezily.

'So, about the vessel and the Harvest and the feeding on the Muggleborns? Where is that gonna take place?'

'Sorry?' Flitwick asked puzzled.

'Well the Harvest, _where_ is it gonna happen? I'm assuming that they aren't just going to feed off people in an alleyway.'

'Well - I - I don't know. I guess I never really thought where it would go down.'

'Wouldn't they do it somewhere near the Hogmouth itself?'

'Yes, but I'm afraid I don't know the exact location of that either, no one even knows the size of the thing.'

Harry sighed. 'I'll go hit the books, see what I can find out.' _Boy, I hope Hermione and Ron are having a more exciting time than I am, _she thought depressively.

* * *

Hermione walked through the narrow walkways, with a horrible stench as her companion. She shivered as a ragged rat scuttled across her Prada boots. _What's the deal with that Blaise guy, anyway, _She mused to herself. At that moment, someone tapped her on the shoulder. Instinctively, she did what slayers did best.

'AHHHHHHHH!' She squealed.

It was Ron.

'OH MY GOD! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?' She screamed, turning round and not recognising him.

'Hermione, chill, it's me, Ron.'

'Ron? OH! Ron!' She said, desperately trying to pretend she knew who the geeky looking guy was. 'What the hell are you doing down here?'

'I couldn't just leave you to save Josso, he's my best bud, I need to be here.'

'Yes. Save. Josso.' She said slowly, trying to piece everything together. 'Right, well you better have this.' Hermione picked up the crate of pineapples that had been handily discarded to the side on the floor and gave it to Ron.

'Pineapples? Your kidding me, right?'

'Vampires are afraid of Pineapples. I think it might be to do with the bright colours or the fact that Slayers have a slightly disturbing fascination with them.' She said, dreamily gazing hungrily at the crate. 'But Flitwick would know more about it than me.' The two continued walking.

'So, I guess you have a lot of battle stories about killing vamps then?'

'Oh yea, there was this one time at band camp when -' Hermione began but was cut off by Ron.

'You were at band camp!'

'Never mind,' Hermione muttered, slightly hurt.

'So, how many ways can u kill a vampire then? Or is it just the one way?'

'No, there's several. Decapitation, sunlight, the classic, of course, stake through the heart, pineapples, holy water, oh, and Countdown.' She said breezily.

'Countdown?'

'Oh yea, vamps hate it. They say it got too commercialised. Apparently the show was originally created as a way of torturing humans, but then it kinda backfired when lots of people began to enjoy it. Mostly the old or the really really sad.'

'Wow.' Ron breathed, utterly impressed. 'I didn't know there was so much vampire history.'

'Ssh!' Hermione said, holding a finger to her lips. 'I think I hear something. Stay behind me.' Ron did as he was told as Hermione walked gingerly round the corner. They found a familiar body on the floor.

'Josso!' Ron and Hermione ran to him, and helped the weak teenager to his feet.

'Buddy are you OK?' Ron asked, concerned.

'Yea, yea, I think so.' Josso answered gingerly.

'OK, we need to get out of here.' Hermione announced, looking down the corridors. The way Ron and Hermione had just come now contained several vamps who had been attracted by the noise.

'I remember them bringing me through here, maybe there's a way out.' Josso said, pointing to a corridor which ran of the other one. Hermione took the lead. The three ran down the corridor, round bends and turns until they found themselves facing another group of vamps coming at them. They hurried back and found a small room with a rusty iron door.

'What the hell do we do now?' Ron asked as Hermione tried to move the heavy iron door.

'You die.' Josso said simply, putting on his vampire face to show what he'd been up to. Joss took a step towards Ron, who flinched.

'Ron! The pineapples!' Ron then whipped out the crate of pineapples which he had been hiding in his back pocket. Josso then shielded his face whilst Hermione continued to push the door closed. The group of vampires had now reached the room.

'I'm sorry Josso, man.' Ron said, still holding the pineapple high.

'Sorry? I've never felt so alive! So connected. I can hear the worms in the earth and I'm gonna be young forever.' Josso said, boasting.

'Yea? Well! I can still get a sun tan!' Ron spat childishly, as Hermione grabbed Josso and threw him at the vampires who were attempted to get in, causing them all to fall into a messy heap on the floor.

Ron and Hermione then rushed back to the stubborn iron door and attempted once more to close it. Oh, and save their lives, that too.

Finally, the door closed as the vampires reached it. Hermione and Ron could hear camp voices call out 'Ooh dear!' and 'Well that wasn't very nice, was it?'

'Oh My God, what the hell do we do now!' Ron yelled becoming slightly hysterical as several of the vampires began to use their manicured nails to dig through the door. Hermione looked desperately round the small room for an escape - there were far too many vamps outside to fight. Her attention was caught by the small vent in the roof in one of the corners of the room.

'Up there!' Hermione yelled to Ron, pointing to the vent. Ron climbed up the old boxes that were left in a handy place and bashed open the vent entrance.

The vampires were now making a very big hole in the door and were almost reaching the huge handle to open it.

As Ron's legs disappeared, Hermione headed up to the vent as the vampires found their way in. Hermione crawled after Ron and distinctly heard someone crawling behind her.

She suddenly saw Ron make his way out of the vent through an opening above him. Hermione got out the same way, but felt a hand pull at her ankle. 'YAHHH!'

She yelled, surprised. She pulled her leg free from the vampires clutches, and the hand burned in the little bit of sunlight which met it.

Ron and Hermione hurriedly placed the man hole cover back over the opening.

The two were silent. Hermione didn't know what to say.

There wasn't any other way.

She would have to kill Josso, and Ron knew it.

* * *

A few hours later, Hermione and Ron limped into Flitwick's classroom.

'Oh My God, are you guys OK?' Harry said as she rushed to Ron's aid.

'Josso?' Flitwick asked simply to Hermione.

'I'm sorry Harry, but we were too late,' She said sympathetically to Harry.

'Dead?' Flitwick asked.

'Worse. He's a vampire.' Hermione said simply.

The room fell silent for a minute.

'Did you guys find out anything more about the Harvest?' Hermione said brightly, trying to change the subject.

'I'm afraid not. All we know is that Mouldevort must have picked the Vessel by now because its sunset in about an hour.' Flitwick said gloomily.

'Well do you guys know where this is taking place?' Hermione asked.

'Well, I looked through a lot and I mean _a lot_ of books, but none specified where the Harvest has to take place, so for all we know it could be taking place in the alleyway next to McDonalds.' Harry informed them. Hermione sighed and made a mental note to go to McDonalds later, she hadn't eaten anything in so long and she was pretty sure she wouldn't be hitting the gym any time soon.

'The Copper.' Ron said simply.

'What?' The others turned to look at the young man whose eyes were full of sorrow.

'The Copper, that's where they'll be.'

'Are you sure?' Flitwick asked.

'Come on, young party goers to feed on, and I'm sure that half the students in Hogwarts are muggleborn.' Flitwick thought about this for a moment.

'You said so yourself, defences are down, it's a typical feeding ground for vampire activity.' Hermione suggested.

'We've got to hurry, sunset is less than an hour away.' Flitwick said as the four headed out of the classroom.

'I have to make a stop first.' Hermione said.

'What for?' Ron asked.

'Supplies.' She said simply.


	6. Chapter 6

**NOTES: **This is the final chapter, and is quite short. I think it's safe to say that I should have at least attempted equal chapter lengths, but hey.

Only 5 days until Harry Potter and the Half - Blood Prince! Is it just me or has time gone very quickly! Not that I'm complaining.

I saw A Lot Like Love last night and it is FANTASTIC! I loved it! I want the soundtrack but I checked a couple of websites and Im not sure if you can get it in England. How pathetic is that! Also been reading Bill Bryson's Notes from a Big Country. Out of curiosity, how many Americans have read it? Any of you?

ENJOY!

* * *

At The Copper, Lavender, Parvati and several other girls in the same year were huddled around a table. Lavender was obviously the centre of attention, yet again, as all eyes were on her. 'Hogwarts boys are just so immature.' Lavender said. Murmurs of 'Yeah,' and 'It's so true' were heard. 'But now older boys, they have - what's the word I'm searching for? - oh yea, _Firebolts!' _Lavender said excitedly.

'You know, I knew this one -' Parvati began before Lavender stepped in.

'Excuse me, motor mouth, can't a girl finish a sentence?' Lavender said, shooting Parvati a look of disgust. 'Oh My God! I love this song!' Lavender announced, walking over to the dance floor, her followers following.

Outside, Draco, Josso, Seamus and some other stupidly named vampires were walking down the alleyway. The man on the door, who was into a robotic routine, said, 'Money?' Not even looking up. Josso grabbed him. 'Hey! What's going on?' He asked. Looking up, he added, 'Dude, what's up with your faces?' The vampires pushed him into the club, shutting the door.

The vampires ran into the club and secured all the other exits as the people wondered what was going on. Seamus ran onto the stage, pushing the lead singer of the band into the crowd. As the lights shined on his face, people screamed in horror at him.

'OH MY GOD! LOOK AT HIS HAIR!' One member of the crowd screamed.

'Don't worry,' the vampire said calmly. 'There is no cause for alarm. Well,' He chuckled. 'There is, it just won't do any good.'

* * *

Hermione loaded up her school bag with weapons from her Pine Weapons Chest (£19.99 from Argos™), and put a large sharp stake down her sleeve for luck. In her bag were axes, holy water, a couple of crosses and a few pineapples.

As she walked through the Gryffindor common room, she found Professor McGonagall waiting for her. 'Hermione?'

'Umm, yes Professor?'

'And just where do you think your going?' Professor McGonagall inquired.

'To The Copper, a club in Hogsmeade. That's all right isn't it?' Hermione asked, unnerved.

'No, I'm afraid it isn't. Professor Dumbledore told me he caught you attempting to leave the campus during school lessons, half of which today you were not present for.' She sighed. 'This sort of attitude is not good, Hermione. It's only your second day of school here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and already I'm having complaints from the Headmaster about you.'

'I'm really sorry about that, I swear I'll make up the time I missed today tomorrow.' Hermione said and continued walking towards the exit of the common room.

'I'm afraid Miss Granger, that considering what happened at your previous school you might find there is no tomorrow for you at Hogwarts.' Professor McGonagall said solemnly.

'So... what? Your expelling me?'

'No, no. Not yet anyway.' The Professor said, 'We're merely _grounding _you.'

'_Grounding _me? Your grounding me?' Hermione said in disbelief.

'Just for tonight. You will be given work from the lessons you missed today to do and we shall forget the incident... for now.' The Professor said and stalked off. 'Good evening.'

'DAMN IT!' Hermione said out of frustration. She ran back up the stairs to her dormitory and looked out of the window. It was a long way down. 'Shit!' She muttered to herself.

Thankfully, none of the follow dormitory sharer people were in the dormitory, _but_, Hermione thought with a sigh, _they're probably at The Copper_. Desperately looking round the dorm for something to aid her escape, she noticed a broom, probably belonging to Lavender, Hermione was sure she overheard a conversation on what a good flyer Lavender was. Whosever it was, Hermione grabbed it and, using a pineapple from her weapons chest, she smashed the window open (in a very roll 'n' roll fashion, of course), mounted the broomstick and flew out of the window and into the cold night air. _Damn, _she thought as she landed expertly, _sunset._

Sure enough, darkness was all around.

* * *

By the time Hermione reached The Copper, Harry, Ron and Flitwick were already huddled outside. 'Your late,' Flitwick observed as she arrived, no wonder he was a watcher.

'I got grounded, are they inside?' Hermione said.

'Yea, we think there maybe 10, 15,' Harry said, shivering from the cold.

'Ok, here.' Hermione handed over her bag of weapons to Harry. 'I'm gonna find my way in through the ceiling, you guys try and find a back way in. Don't get into any fights and just get out as many people as you can, OK?' Hermione ordered. Bossy boots.

Inside the Copper, Seamus, the vessel, was feeding on the door guy when Hermione showed up. She had a managed to get in through the ceiling and was now observing everything from the first floor, where she had spoken to Flitwick just last night.

'More! I need more! Bring me another one! I can feel Mouldevort's strength growing! Bring me more!' Seamus shouted from the stage. Greedy idiot, Hermione thought.

A floor below Hermione, Flitwick, Harry and Ron had managed to creep in and stake the vampire guarding the door. They were now telling as many people as they could reach to get out.

Just as Seamus was offered another sacrifice, Hermione jumped down from the first floor. 'It's me you want.' She said simply, staking the vampire that tried to get her from behind.

'Slayer. Bring her to me!' Seamus ordered.

Hermione kicked another vampire that ran at her as she walked up to the stage. She bared her neck to Seamus and said, 'You want it, come and get it.' As the vampire walked over to her, Hermione punched him square in the face, sending him flying backwards.

Flitwick watched with pride from a distance as Draco jumped on his back.

'Flitwick!' Harry yelled in horror, as she speedily brought the bottle of Holy Water from her bag and threw it on the vamp, whose head began to burn. Draco ran out screaming as Josso shouted, 'DARLING!' and followed him.

Hermione, meanwhile was caught up in a fight with Seamus, who currently had the upper hand and threw her into the drum kit in the back. As she got up, Hermione could see, through her good eye, that Ron was about to be jumped by a sneaky vamp. She instinctively threw the symbol from the drum kit towards the vampire, beheading him.

Seamus laughed. 'You actually think you can defeat us?'

'I don't think so, I know so,' Hermione spat back, rather childishly.

'Yea? Well.. You smell!' Seamus retorted.

'Do not!'

'Do too!'

'Oh, I am SO gonna stake you,' Hermione said, seething. If there's one thing she prided herself on, it was the fact she did not smell. Lunging at the vampire, Hermione threw him to the ground and staked him. Seamus then exploded into an array of dust and bad special effects.

The remaining vampires in The Copper fled, leaving Flitwick, Harry, Ron and Hermione stood alone.

'Did we win?' Harry asked gingerly after a long silence.

Outside, Blaise saw the vampires flee. 'She did it. Good for her.'

* * *

'Come on, Ron, what were you expecting?' Hermione asked, as she Ron and Harry walked across the lawns in the brilliant sunshine.

'Well the dead rose, we should've at least had an assembly.' The three laughed as Flitwick joined them.

'Good morning.' He said.

'You know what?' Hermione said, 'It is a good morning. We prevented Mouldevort from escaping, we saved a lot of lives and it's sunny.' She said with a smile.

'Yeah, your right!' Harry said enthusiastically.

'Well we may have stopped him this one time, but who knows what the Hogmouth will give us next.' Flitwick said, breezily.

'You mean Mouldevort isn't defeated?' Ron asked.

'Oh, on the contrary, I believe now he'll try harder than ever to escape his confinement.'

'So? More vampires?' Harry asked, losing her enthusiasm.

'Not just vampires, no, what we face next could be quite different.'

'Well, I for one am going to be positive,' Hermione beamed. 'Who knows, I could still get kicked out of school.'

'You could blow something up, I hear there really strict about that,' Harry contributed as she Hermione and Ron walked off toward the castle.

Flitwick, turned, sighed and breathed, 'Hogwarts is doomed.'


End file.
